Gimme Back My Bullets

It happened. I knew it would eventually, but I hardly thought it would be a “friend.” I'm talking about shaming me for being disabled. This is not a “pity party” as many might think. It's a surprising step backwards for me emotionally. I struggle every single day of my life to be as normal as I possibly can, all the while knowing that I look anything but normal. One need only watch me walk.

I've been called fiercely independent for the biggest part of my life, but brain surgery changed all of that. I still rise to the challenge but there's a pretty good chance I'll need help. I think I've mentioned in other blogs that I went into this whole thing with guns blazing but came out the other side without even one bullet. While it did upset me when #45 mocked the disabled, that was no where near the pain inflicted by the thoughtless words of a trusted friend.

You see, when I found myself in this crazy situation, I thought it wise to surround myself with people I felt I could trust and, for the most part, it's worked out. Until now. I guess it's just thinning of the herd. Not everyone has the heart to be friends with someone so...broken. True colors always show through.

Prior to the cancer and surgery, I had a huge group of friends. That group dwindled to only a few in very short order. I learned a valuable lesson about human beings from that. On the other hand I feel great respect for therapists and nurses and those who choose to help the disabled. It does take a village...for all of God's children, no matter the age.

It happened. Like a dagger through my soul, hurtful words nearly thrust me into the dark. Rage...Anger...Pain...Rise above and let it go. I may be body weak but nothing or no one can break my spirit.

#depression #ptsd #spinalcordtumors #cancersurvivors #braintumors #caregivers