I Am Not Alone

“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.”

- Robin Williams

Pick your chin up. Suck it up, Buttercup. Shake it off. We've all heard something of that sort, if not said it to a friend who is down. A bad day is one thing, depression is entirely another. Until my own struggle with depression and PTSD after brain surgery, I was one who believed that Doctors and Big Pharma had done it again and were raking in the cash. Well, maybe, but the conditions are real.

I'm blessed in many ways, but the shining beacon for getting me through has been my partner. Not exactly the most patient person, she has surprised me time and time again by putting up with my fits. (Oh yeah, I was that kid on the grocery store floor.) The stages of grief are tough enough without wallowing in depression at the same time. Unfortunately, I didn't have any control of that. For the longest time I had no control over anything...source of depression? Partly.

As I rode the roller coaster, Connie put up with zero crap. She called BS when she heard it and kept me in check more often than not, somehow knowing when I was kicking and screaming in front of the crunch berries on isle 7. While “normal” was being ripped away from me, she maintained “the usual” as well as she could. Believe me, that was absolutely the best thing she could have done. I never felt alone in my fight, not to this day.

A friend said I was lucky. I know I'm blessed, my luck isn't that good. Now that I'm getting better and working hard to do so, the world around me is slowly becoming normal again, different but normal and I am nowhere near alone.

BLESSED