New Years Resolution?

I'm being lazy lately. I know it. I'm very aware. I haven't been writing. I scroll Facebook, liking posts and occasionally commenting, but mostly just scrolling. Mostly doing nothing. I know it's related, if not directly due, to depression and of course, my being a creative type, I have a tendency to blow things up. My imagination takes off at a gallop. Stinkin' thinkin'.

Now understand, this hasn't happened overnight. For two years I have struggled to keep myself busy with work and writing but work has slowly died and I have blogged my ass off to the point where even I don't want to read it. My inspiration, my flame feels like it's burning out. Time for a change.

2018 was my first cancer free Christmas since 2015. No tumor, no chemo, no worries and I felt it. I felt the difference and that's got me thinking. (see!) It's truly over. Yea, I have to have MRI's to keep an eye on the hole in my brain but I don't sweat that stuff. It's over. I've dwelt long enough. As a good friend of mine put it, “time to put on the big girl panties and move forward.” She's right.

While what I've been through is certainly a big deal, there is much more to me than cancer and quite frankly, I'm tired of it consuming me. Christmas, the spirit, helped me see that I'm ready for the next stage: Acceptance. This is how it is now. No amount of anger or sorrow or depression is going to change it.

New Years resolution? No, not this year. New lease on life resolution is more like it. New focus, new goals. I can never be the same but I can be new and improved. The only way to perpetrate change is to make it happen and after all I've done, this should be a piece of cake!