“New Normal” Redefined

I learned something today. I finally understand the words “new normal.” I get it...finally.

I’ve heard it said a thousand times and have said it a hundred or more without a clue what it really means. When brain tumor surgery damaged the control center for my left side, leaving my arm limp and my leg “weakened,” I thought my “new normal” was all about that; dealing with a physical handicap. And I’ll be honest, that just pissed me off. Certainly my life lesson wasn’t to be a gimp and a burden to those I love for the rest of my life.

As time went by and I got stronger and slightly less dependent, not much changed. I could see the fear in my partner’s eyes and feel my own in my soul. I thought, this is it. “New normal” is about having to be a pathetic loser who needs a wheelchair to get through the airport and is horrified by curbs. It will never become my normal if I refuse to accept it. Well, that’s a great idea! All together, let’s recite the serenity prayer. I was dead set and determined to defy the odds and change what cannot be changed. Brilliant, ain’t I?

Well, something big happened this week and the bulb over my head flickered on. My partner and caregiver, who has been by my side virtually 24/7 through this whole roller coaster ride, got a job outside our home. I know that doesn’t seem like a big deal, but when you consider she’s been free lancing in order to stay home with me for a year plus, a job outside the house IS huge. I AM TAKING MY HOUSE BACK.

“New normal” isn’t about letting changes rule my life, it’s about ruling life despite the changes. Ta-da! I love epiphanies.