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20 Questions

A life long friend of mine mentioned the other day that when she went through a battle with breast cancer, she felt the need to “hide” the disease to avoid the inevitable questions. I understand where she was coming from but what a heavy burden to bear alone. No matter what the cancer, breast or brain, no one should walk that road solo.

There are questions that everyone has and every cancer patient and survivor has to answer those questions about 2.9 million times, give or take. Some are uncomfortably invasive but I believe people’s intentions are good. When I first re-joined the real world after brain tumor surgery, I found it more comfortable when someone had the balls to ask what happened instead of pointing and whispering, which happens far more often.

I’ve learned when to say, “I’m doing well, thank you,” and when to expand my answer. “How are you?” is often nothing more than words and I can usually sense sincerity. As my world is growing again, there are more people asking the same questions and more people pointing and whispering and I’m the one who must grow and understand that most people, bless their hearts, will never know the difficulties and effects of cancer and its treatments...or the emotional toll on sufferers and caregivers and our families.

My friend is not the only person who has said she wanted to hide the fact that she was suffering through something huge. I completely get it and for a period of time I didn’t leave my house except for rehab or some kind of doctors appointment or lab visit. Until I felt strong in my “new normal,” I had zero desire to interact with people, in fact, there was fear. Being the type of person who would walk right into a lion’s den just to pet the kitties, I had to clear that hurdle in a hurry or allow stupid cancer to effect my social life. That could not happen.

I tested the waters then slowly stepped back into the world. I still feel odd and out of place at times but now I know that I just need to get out of my head and enjoy what this crazy life throws at me. I survived brain cancer, feeling a little awkward ain’t gonna slow me down.


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