Facing Fear Head On...Or Not
There are a million things to be afraid of, probably billions! Spiders, snakes, airplane crashes...snakes on a plane (horrible movie)...knife wielding murderers, politicians, curbs. Wait, curbs? Curbophobia? Yes, curbs, or steps with no hand rail strike fear in my heart. Oh, and the dark, I’ve always been scared of the dark. (Thanks Big Brother!) But curbs are a new fear brought on by brain tumor surgery and the effects left on my body.
You see, a brain tumor often leaves one with neurological and lasting damage. I became “tippy,” a close cousin to “tipsy” but with no need for alcohol. I’m saying I’m a fall risk. I had to learn that slow and steady wins the race, or at least doesn’t fall down.
Yesterday was Spring in Minnesota, an absolutely beautiful day. Connie and I got together with our “bags buddies” and set up our corn hole boards on the tennis court for opening day of outdoor bags season. I’d played only once since surgery so I didn’t expect much but my first challenge was actually getting onto the court. A curb lead to a short but steep asphalt hill. I surveyed the situation, two able bodied friends at the ready to help. I took one step. Nope.
If there is one thing I’ve learned through all of this brain tumor stuff it is to think before I do...anything. If there is a less risky way to get there, take the safer route. A basic human fear is falling and I don’t need to tempt fate. I took the long way around, up one curb, walked across the grass to the court...easy peasy. Although, it does seem like a LOT of work just to get our butts handed to us three games in a row! None-the-less, it was relaxing and comforting to play and have some “old normal” in my “new normal” world.